The idea of valuing only what you’ve struggled for is real.
By Jurat Nortojiev · · 3 min read
There’s a simple joy in debating with ourselves if we can afford something, trying to justify our choices, taking risks, and finally enjoying what we buy. But someone with endless money never experiences this.
Take buying art, for example. Regular people have to work hard searching for treasures, outsmarting dealers, feeling both worried and hopeful, and sometimes skipping meals to afford their find. Their enjoyment matches the effort they put in.
But the person who walks into an auction knowing they can buy anything with a signature feels none of this excitement.
This all makes sense when you understand what your brain wants.
It doesn’t want nice cars or big homes.
It wants dopamine.
That’s it.
Your brain just wants dopamine.
Dopamine is the chemical of desire that always asks for more – more stuff, more stimulation, and more surprises.
In pursuit of these things, it is undeterred by emotion, fear, or morality.
From dopamine’s point of view, it’s not the having that matters; it’s getting something – anything – that’s new.
Your brain doesn’t want stuff. It doesn’t even want new stuff. It wants to engage in the process and anticipation of getting new stuff.
The change, not the amount, is what matters.
You can see this so often with money.
When you’re young you dream about having a car – any car.
When you get a $10,000 car you dream of the $20,000 car.
When you get a $20,000 car you dream of the $50,000 car.
If you get the $50,000 car you dream of the $100,000 car.
If you get the $100,000 car you dream of having several $100,000 cars.
There’s almost no end to this.
The millionaires look at the centimillionaires, who look at the billionaires, who look at the decamillionaires, who look at the centibillionaires …
It’s always just what’s next? How can I get to the next level?
That’s what you do because that’s what your brain wants. Once you have something, it means nothing to you.
Some people are less susceptible to this than others.
But the dopamine train is a common and powerful trap.
And it helps answer the question of, “What do you want out of money?” Do you want a new car? A new house? Better clothes?
For most people, no, you don’t actually want any of those things. At least not directly.
You want everything you can’t have.
And at various points in your life those are things you can’t have – yet, at least.
Once you get them – if you do – the goalpost moves, the dopamine takes over, and you immediately start to ask: What’s next?
It is not pursuit of happiness but happiness of pursuit.